Inspired Mess 'n' Muse

Trains of Thought

Some journeys are wonderful. The journey is all that you have, said author Paulo Coelho. I couldn’t agree more. I’d love to travel around the world and inhale the experience and exuberance it has to offer.

Well, that’s wishful thinking, really.

I am not really attracted to the idea of travelling – on trains, in particular.

Living in the cityscape of Mumbai where crowds and congestion are a norm, travelling on trains is a toll-taking experience. I have had my fair share of train trips in the last three years I have been living here. The rush and mush on the trains is surely madness.

But when I stop to consider for a moment, I think travelling on trains has a rather interesting plus side to it. The people. The lives. The stories.

I am generally not a conversational person, but I like to watch and observe. My mind’s ticking with thoughts and theories 24/7.

I have this unconscious knack to imagine how a certain person’s life would be like. I have the tendency to go into my mind’s drawing board and like a seriously curious painter, I begin to color or discolor or recolor the life using the palette of vibes and expressions emanated by the object of my observation. It’s an interesting exercise.

Hoards of people get on and off trains, and in my opinion every face is dying to tell its story to someone. Some say it out loud; others hope to let their muted eyes do the talking. I prefer to read faces. I am not the conversational type myself. So, I can very well relate to that anguish of being quiet for stretched amounts of time.  

Personally, I am the quiet and brooding type, I am aloof and like to float in my own thought-cloud, unless distracted or disturbed by an external force of frustration or inspiration. Funny as it sounds, it’s the truth. Most of the times, my subjects of interest have been people whom I find hilarious for some reason. I think men with poker-faced looks are insanely funny. I enjoy reading people who evoke mirth in me. It’s like I spot a silver lining in the dark, gloomy characters of people and make it my business to imagine their lives – for my entertainment.

Like I said, it’s a lot of fun. Lives are not perfect – nobody is. But in the mind, brainstorming the possibility of what somebody’s may be like or may not be – I find that pursuit interesting.

It’s okay to be weird. Normal is boring.

Cheers!

— MR

Facts That Make Me

An unwritten human right states that: we all have the right to take a random trip into our randomness and gloat about it. It’s okay to be self-indulgent once in a while. Self-love is a necessary luxury, after all.

So, today, I list down facts that make me, me.

• I want to launch and own a clothing line in my name soon. Clothes are my poison, and I wish to share it.
• I think English is a funny and complicated language at the same time.
• Traveling on trains is something I loathe very much. Sidebar: although some of my trips have been highly entertaining, when I observed the people around me.
• I think my life has the potential to be made into a cartoon-series someday. (ala Tom and Jerry.)
• I appear to be an insomniac, but I am a sleepy-bug.
• I binge. But never put on weight. It drives people crazy.
• I have hair-loss problems. Science calls it ‘balding.’ I call it — a misfortune.
• Michael Jackson is my hero. I rue the fact that I could never attend any of his concerts.
• My taste for most things is a little offbeat and I like that.
• T-shirts are a weakness.
• Formals look good on mannequins.
• If I were a nut, I would want to be a pistachio. It’s colorful, so am I.
• I want to do the moonwalk wearing Skechers.
• I love mobile phones.
• I hate talking on the phone - for long hours.
• I prefer texting.
• My life is full of paradoxes. (Refer to 14,15,16.)
• If you’d ramble on for long hours and I don’t react, it means I have fallen asleep with my eyes open.
• I wish to have a city or country named after me. Nationality:Murtazaian
• I like it when my phone blinks, and I see ‘xyz’ messages received.
• If the text turns out to be an old and lame one, it annoys me.
• Subway sandwiches are awesome. I’d become their brand ambassador, if they offer me free meals for life.
• I am a sucker for music. My favorite artists are mostly those my friends have never heard about. (It gives me an opportunity to call the ‘Noob.’ Haha!)
• Pink shirts are good.
• My best friend is Murtaza Tapiya. We have some great memories.
• I like my quiet and silence. Very, very few people are able to read me. And I like to keep it that way.
• Andaz Apna Apna is my all-time favorite movie.
• I dislike long walks.
• I wish to appear on the the cover of the TIME magazine - for my talent, not my riches.
• What other people think of me is mildly important to me.
• I love taking my own pictures. My roomie thinks I am the best person he’s captured in his camera.
• My memory is fuzzy. I forget easily.
• I’d like to think I have a selective memory and it has an inbuilt recycle-bin of its own.
• Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio are my favorite actors.
• The last page of my biography will read ‘BRB.’
• I am in a happy place right now.
• I like receiving compliments, but find it difficult returning them.
• I have this wicked habit of passing random remarks out of the blue - it annoys a hell lot of people, and it makes me laugh.
• I can stare aimlessly for hours. I must be thinking.
• Every chapter of my biography will end with ‘LOL’, ‘;)’, ‘:D’ or ‘:)’.
• My future is always on my mind.
• I am curious about a lot of things most of the time.
• I have culinary skills and am proud of them.
• Cartoon and textual tees rock my wardrobe.
• A lot of times I am tempted to say to a number of people in my life: If you LIKE me raise your hand, if not, Raise Your Standard.
• I like hanging out in large groups.
• I am not perfect, but I am close.
• I kill an inner-demon everyday. I am a new person everyday.
• I am ambitious, just not overtly. I just wish to live happily ever after - not like in the movies though!
• I like the person I am, but I love the person I have the potential to be.

So there it is! 50 nuggets of random truths that make me the individual I am.

Believe you me, for someone like me who shuns from talking too much, this list is a big step outside my comfort-zone. And I am a feeling a sense of liberation. So, WTH!

Do you have random facts about you that you’d like to chime about? Feel free to put your dime forward!

Cheers.

— MR

The ‘Thank You’ Tango

A thank you is powerful.

You should always be thankful.

‘Thank you’ - the expression is seldom used these days. And even if it is articulated, it isn’t as genuine as you’d hope it to be.

In the biography ‘Royal Duty’ penned by Paul Burrell -the butler of the Late Princess Diana - he mentions how the Princess often rued over the lack of peoples’ will to express gratitude openly and heartily.

In today’s day and age, the tragedy of ‘no thank yous’ still runs rampant in our society. We are living in an epoch where mankind survives and thrives on motivated favors and shameless favoritism. Every individual is committing deeds, expecting returns, yet remains thankless.

Personally, until recently, I never gave too much importance to the norm of thanking or being thanked. I didn’t recognize it as being important. Although if and when a ‘thank you’ did come my way, it was did make me feel nice.  Still, I did not pay much attention to it, anyway.

Broadly speaking, the folly of today’s generation is that it is purely driven by the will to succeed, without pausing to extend a thank you towards people who helped them get there.

Every individual is so wrapped up in the cocoon of his or her life’s doings and drama, that the etiquette of gratitude has become distant, or perhaps, a forgotten art.

No matter how much you choose to overlook it, an expression of ‘thank you’ speaks volumes. Irrespective of how coiled up you may be in living your life, articulation of appreciation is a must.

Obviously if you’re not the talky types and have issues bringing words to the tip of your tongue — there are other ways to show your appreciation. A hand-written note, a card, a gift, an invite for coffee or meal etc. You just have to have the will to take the step and express it.

But of course, a face-to-face thank you works best. The secret is to say it in an unhurried way and genuinely. Not because ‘it will make the other person will good.’

Don’t thank a person just because it will get the monkey off your back.

A thank you is a gift, seal it with genuineness. 

Over the last year and further, I have learnt and re-learnt the art of appreciation and gratitude. And I am glad. It’s made me a better person, and helped me attain a different strata of success in life overall.

Never miss an opportunity to celebrate & elevate another person, whether at work or at home. You’ll connect with the best within them. And then they’ll give you their best. Leave people feeling better than you found them.

  Thank you. Cheers.

— MR

The Ism of Opinion

There are a lot of opinions about me amidst my friends. And even otherwise. Should the thought of what I am being interpreted as by a somebody or a nobody really matter to me?   

I think not.

My self and self-worth cannot be measured by how highly or lowly a stranger thinks of me. Ultimately, identity is personal and so is its pursuit. Most opinions are not meant to be taken seriously. People talk. People think. It’s a free world. And freedom often lets people get carried away.  

Such fodder of frail judgments and petty opinions should not interfere with your way of life, and become the food for your soul. I reckon people who opine too much about somebody they hardly know, are just killing time whispering bland nothings into the ears of all and sundry.

In good humor, I’d like to believe, people who spend their time analyzing the life of others and passing judgment – have no imagination to invest in better things – instead they survive with having fake figments of opinion about people in their minds.

Once up on a time, I invested a lot of value into everyone’s opinion about me. I could not bear the thought of being criticized or thrown flak at. I wanted to be liked. Always.

Of course then Facebook came about, and made me realize that I am not a status-update – I do not have to be liked in order to exist.  

I can change people’s opinion about me – to a certain extent. Of course what I can control (and perhaps stop) is letting it get to me and interfere with my reality.

And honestly, I am above all that now.

On the other hand, Life’s given me ample demonstration that it’s not always going to be about me. I may be the hero in my life’s plot, but the focus will shift on other characters, too. It is not mandatory that my presence be required in everything, every time.

Of course, life, will, ultimately, become what I make it to become – and so, it is important to realize and acknowledge that there are going to others who will help me make it happen. And I must give them their due. Everything in life can be accomplished alone – but only inside your mind. In the real world, however, a helping hand is always needed / required. And we must take it, and respect it while it’s there.

 Respect opinion, and take it if you will.

Take a helping hand if you must, and respect it.

In life, sometimes, you must quit wondering what the world’s wondering about you.

Cheers.

MR

The ‘M’ Theorem

The ‘M’ Theorem states:

Me + My ability > Public opinion (Random thoughts + Unnecessary views) / Self-confidence + Imagination + Self Belief  = My Success Story.

(The self when combined with ability is greater than public opinion (inclusive of random thoughts with unnecessary views) which must be divided apart by a high degree of self-confidence and imagination, topped with the high sense of self-belief that you can and will write your own success story.)

You need not be a class topper to usher a change in your life. And become the individual you wish to be. Success is not a slave of your heydays in school or university. Or even your absence from them.

This train of thought has been circling the rails of my mind for a while now. I’d call this a weird occurrence, because this is a first for me. As established previously, my mind’s a bubblegum universe, there’s hardly anything inside it that lasts longer than just a few days, maybe.

I tend to remember very little. A flaw that’s assumed epic-status now.

Every time I try to compare my mind to a metaphor, it cracks me up. I don’t exactly know why.

I wish to change a lot of things. About me: Little. Around me: Lot

That’s been with me for a while now. I am focusing on myself. For real. All this while I was occupied in living a life that was defined by a series of mad-ball moments of fun and foolery. Not any longer. I see a change approaching me. A good change. A change, I was trying to overlook, and even ignore, perhaps. But after a point, we have to grow up - no choices there. 

I have to take off my rose-tinted Allen Sollie glares, and wear my geeky spectacles and see the black, the white and the gray. 

I am chasing a secret ambition. It’s starting to make me feel alive, and realize that I am worth more than just surviving with textbook academics. I reckon a classroom or certificate can never suffice as essentials to making it in the real world. They are just pieces of paper, at the end of the day.

I used to place a lot of value in my education. I studied and prepared diligently for my exams. I wanted to fare very well. And after the results came out and I fetched a second-class grade, my faith in academics has somewhat gotten diluted. I could not let a mediocre academic performance conclude that I am a lesser mortal.

I believe it’s stupid to judge the credibility of an individual on the basis of a mark-sheet or the lack of. Or any other document. Ultimately it all boils down to what you possess inside your mind, and not inside your closet. (For all you know, you may own nothing but dirty linen inside. Ha!)

But honestly, the truth is, change is a process – and I reckon it’s imperative to look above and beyond personal imperfections, public impressions and committedly work with what you actually have.

I am doing exactly that. And the magic of the ‘M’ theorem has started to unravel itself…so far so good.

Cheers.

— MR

The Mind’s ‘Muddle’cake

Everyone’s Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World’s
Got A Role For Me
I’m So Confused
Will You Show To Me
You’ll Be There For Me
And Care Enough To Bear Me.

Will you Be There – Michael Jackson

This stanza from Michael Jackson’s song precisely reflects the state of my mind.

I really wish I had two voices. I really wish my mind could talk by itself. I really wish it would stop being such a robot, and sung out its thoughts, instead. It’s pressurizing, you know. Especially for someone like me who talks minimum and thinks maximum.

Yup, that’s me.

Silence and solitude are my virtues. I like the quiet. Even though I may have a sunny persona, but the calm always shines through first.

As much as I wish to break out of my mute-zone and express myself, there’s a blockage somewhere inside my mind that forbids my thoughts from becoming words. Somewhere beneath all my silence, I feel my intellect is suffocating, because I am unable to give it the space to release and breathe. I wish to change that. I want to. Soon.

I have this wicked (Not weird) tendency to sit and stare aimlessly for hours. My mind escapes and hides into a corner of its own and begins to run in all directions at once. It’s like an amazement-park where all the rides begin at once - and never stop. There’s a burst of thoughts swirling inside my head and, as crazy as it may sound, I am unable to decipher most of my mind’s chaos, most of the time. And I have started to realize, this very facet, has become my flaw for a while now. I want to change that. A lot of times I am confused about the most trifling things in my life. I spend hours shopping for a single t-shirt. Okay, may be that qualifies me as being choosy, but it does tend to strike a bad note sometimes.

 And then, I have also learnt to let go of other peoples’ opinion about me. You cannot let temporal attitudes towards you affect your faith in yourself. If you do, it only adds to the confusion. And probably lead you to nowhere.

At times, however, I find confusion to be a good thing, after all. I’ll tell you why. It’s allowed me to spend quality time with myself and explore myriad possibilities and impossibilities at the same time. I envisage myself to be somebody incredibly credible in whatever I choose to do. And it is this decision of choice that makes my head explode.

 So I guess, confusion is only half-good.

See the irony, there?

My mind is an epic paradox.

People who know me just on the surface tend think I’m putting up an act. But the truth is, I am a confused guy, trying hard to assemble the pieces of reality and still, paint illusions with the brushes of my wishful thinking.  

On a light note, all this confusion has started a whole new thread of thoughts inside of me, now. The crazies still persist, but I think mulling over my options has turned me into a heavy-duty thinker. A scientist of thought. If thinking overtime ever becomes a profession, I’d make easy bucks, for sure!

The whole fact is, I just wish my mind would calm its crazy antics and let me take decisions with a lot more ease than it usually permits. The cure lies within me, I know. There’s a lot in me. I am capable. I am able. It’s just that I need to give myself the chance to outgrow of my insecurities and trust my instincts – that whatever I do is right and good for me.

My mind’s been a muddle-cake all this time. Not anymore. I want to break away from its riddles and give it a makeover. I will. And become.

The world’s got a role for me. And I intend to give an award-winning performance.

The time has come. The clock is ticking.

— MR

A Cup of ‘Crap’pucino

WTF?!?!

Another blog?

Hell yeah!

Okay, I already have a fashion blog in my name. This space, however is my zone. My personal space. I think I am gradually waking up to the joys and jazz of blogging. It’s a fun thing to do. In many ways, I think blogs are voices that tumble out as words from peoples’ minds.

Very often we are not able to communicate as openly and broadly as we’d wish to. It is then, having a blog or any other medium of expression helps. I think I like blogging very much. Sitting by myself, at my laptop, a thought-rush hits me, that I never knew existed in the first place. Being alone can allow wonderful things to happen to you. Okay, no, I am not a loner. But I feel, sometimes being in your own company helps you unload a great deal of the invisible baggage of thoughts and reflect up on yourself in a new way. It’s like holding a candle in front of the mirror, in complete darkness. Sometimes, a spark of light is all one needs.

The mind’s an amazing wonder-scape. Let me be specific - my mind. I say this because a lot of times, I feel I cannot seem to get a grip on my own mind’s musings. It’s funny. I think so much, I am having hair-loss issues - and guess what? No meds have worked. And the society gloats science has a cure for everything…almost!

Side Muse: I think science and medicine is overrated. Ha!

At the same time I love my semi-bald hairdo very much. So, thinking overtime is not a bad thing, after all. I used to have issues with my hairdo but now, I’d like to think it adds to my uniqueness. Okay, that’s a serious judgment - and not a load of crap, as my friends would like to believe.

So what else is there in my mind? Honestly, there’s a whole debris of thoughts and ideas upstairs - and believe you, me, I try to clear it everyday - it’s a process.

Sometimes I wonder if people can actually read minds? Okay, may be I am questioning the credibility of psychics - but no, I’d really want to find out if we can actually possess the gift of reading minds. The day I find someone who’d be able to decipher the ‘crappucino’ brewing inside my head, I fear they might die a comic death.

My mind runs a reality-show of its own. The plot’s confused, the characters, too many - most of whom are imaginary idiots. And well, the theme is still, a work in progress.

Just like my life is. A process of progress!

Interesting thought: crap isnt always absurdity. sometimes, crap is reality - garnished with insanity, just to keep things interesting!

My life is an inspired mess, and I am it’s favorite muse!

The next shot will be served soon!

Till that happens, Enjoy the high of this one.

Cheers.

— MR